Airport Revenues Soar After Allowing Travelers To Pay To Turn Off CNN

WORLD—Airports around the world are reporting record revenues after introducing a long-awaited feature: the ability to turn off CNN on television sets in their terminals.

For just one quarter, you can turn off CNN for a full fifteen minutes while you’re waiting for your flight, leaving you with the “far superior” experience of just staring at a blank screen.

“At long last,” said one man waiting for his flight at LaGuardia as he dropped a few dollars’ worth of quarters into the “Turn CNN Off” slot. “Honestly, I might fly more now.” He’s not alone: airports expect a 426% uptick in traveling over the holidays as flyers no longer have to worry about having the droning words of CNN hosts pounded into their heads for hours on a layover.

The feature has been one of the most-requested by travelers along with the dismantling of the TSA and pretzel bags with more than 3 pretzels in them. Read the rest HERE.


About Alan Berkelhammer

Opinions are my own and are not necessarily those of any organization or group.
This entry was posted in 1st Amendment, Constitution, Media and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Airport Revenues Soar After Allowing Travelers To Pay To Turn Off CNN

  1. Joe Z says:

    I don’t understand why travelers should have to pay to turn the Communist News Network off. A better solution would be to just unplug the idiot box or even better…throw a heavy object through the screen. A lucky frequent flyer could get a free brick.

Leave a Reply